FOOD VIGILANTE

I was sitting in the car with my eight year old son waiting for the bus when I told him this…

me: Hey Choc (Short for Chocolate, long story), I have been thinking about giving up dairy products.

Choc: You mean milk?

me: well, yea, milk and anything else made from milk like cheese, yogurt and maybe even butter (uuggh).

Choc: Why??

me: well, I’ve done a lot of research and thinking about humans drinking milk. I’ve come to the conclusion that it isn’t all that good for us.

Choc: Why not?

Now this is something I love about this kid. If I started this conversation with most adults, they wouldn’t simply ask ‘why not?’, they would jump down my throat at the prospect of eliminating this dietary staple and dismiss me as mad. Choc doesn’t judge, he just innocently and non-confrontational asks me why.

me: well, what does a human baby eat when it’s very young, before it can eat regualr food?

Choc: Uh, milk.

me: where does that milk come from?

This answer was classic…

Choc: Boobs

me: (laughing) ok, but from who does the milk come from?

Choc: The baby’s mom.

me: and after they are eating regular food, where do they get milk from?

Choc: Cows.

This idea is totally and completely acceptable to all ages. Drinking milk from a cow seems normal, because, at this point in history, it is.

me: OK, now, what do baby cows eat when they’re very young and before they eat regular food?

Choc: Milk.

me: Where do they get that milk from?

Choc: From mommy cows. Uh, from udders.

me: and when the baby cow is old enough to eat regular food like grass and hay, it then drinks milk from a human mother, right?

Choc: Ew, no!

Then within seconds his expression changed. He had an “ah-ha” moment. He’s so smart. He said…

Choc: I get it! Why do we drink milk from cows after we’re done with milk from our moms? That’s kinda weird. Or, wait, is it? I don’t know.

me: I know, it’s confusing to me too! I have to do more research and I’ll let you know.

Choc: OK. Yeah, tell me. Is milk bad for us? What all is made from milk? But I like milk! Wait, do cows eat cheese?

me: (laughing again) calm down, we’re not giving up milk just yet, I’m just saying that I’m thinking real hard about why it is we drink cow’s milk and if we’re supposed to be drinking it. I mean, why don’t we try some cat milk or bunny milk or deer milk?

Choc: (now he’s laughing) Awww, GROSS! Cat milk! Haha, wait, bunnies are so cute, maybe their milk is good? Well, maybe not.

me: Isn’t it funny how we are ok with drinking milk from a big lumbering beast who walks around in poo and eats grass? But deer milk sounds gross.

Another “ah-ha” moment coming up.

Choc: Yeah, I guess. But some human moms are pretty big and gross too.

me: (now I’m howling with laughter) Yes, probably from eating too much cheese!

We shared a laugh, a hug and he was off to school. It was amazing to me that my eight year old could grasp the idea of this conversation and understand where I was coming from and give the matter some thought. I have trouble convincing grown adults that McCrap Happy Meals are toxic!

As I relayed this conversation to The Duchess, she offered to get her mammaries going and express some milk for our use. We laughed so hard, almost to tears. We joked of cheese made from my cage-free-grass-fed-free range girlfriend! HA!

Sounds better than cat milk for sure!

Alright, I’m not saying give up milk just yet. I’ve read so much about milk being related to allergies, heart disease, even cancer. I have also read about the benefits of milk’s vitamins, proteins and heart disease fighting properties. I am truly on the fence. One thing remains, Humans are the sole exception in the natural world for consuming milk past infancy.

Does it do a body good?

FV