FOOD VIGILANTE

Ok, I have had a cup of A-plus coffee as recommended by my recent foe in my first blargument. See, Richard, in contrary to my stand says he is confounded by the lack of coffee availability. Whereas I believe that there are just too many businesses jumping on the java bandwagon (see “A Duel?”). Does every store have to have everything? Shouldn’t businesses specialize in a small portion of consumer goods? Do we all have to be mini-WalMarts?

Yea, I know, grocery stores offer everything. I’m talking about service food or prepared food. I don’t want to go in to a 24 hour convenience store and be told by the clerk that the coffee machine is in the third aisle just past the motor oil, bologna and lawn fertilizer. (don’t those ingredients make bombs??)

In spite of this, I honored my opponents opinion and coughed up the $.99 for a cup o’ joe at the A-plus.

Not bad.

Certainly priced nice.

But….

OK, I’m not completely a chlorofluorocarbon nut just yet, but the cup was styrofoam. Strike one. There was no place to sit for a minute or even the rich smell of a coffee shoppe. Then…

As I poured my coffee, an older gentleman working there approached me. He said “good morning”. Innocent enough. We exchanged pleasantries; how are you, fine, thanks, no sense complaining anyway, sure is cold. Then he abruptly explained to me that he made sweet love to his woman this morning and that there’s nothing better than sex and going to work. I awkwardly offered that my, uh, woman, was fast asleep when I left this morning. He advised that the next time I should wake her…”as long as she puts her arms above her head and smiles, you’re in like Flynn”. Yea, he said that. I wished him a good day, he shook my hand and introduced himself as “Fly”. ” My name is George, but the call me Fly”

Alright, I can’t quite decide if this exchange argues more for my side or Richard’s. I still say the styrofoam and lack of ambiance cancels out the price and tastiness of the brew. Plus I tripped over a case of condoms about to be stocked just across from the coffee machine. This never happens at a coffee shoppe. Oh, well, maybe they belonged to “Fly”.

Babe, careful how you stretch in the mornings…

FV