FOOD VIGILANTE

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I may be the world’s next revered philosopher. Surprised? Don’t be. It turns out that I have a lot in common with Socrates and Hippocrates. Besides their dashing good looks, they were preaching a message that has been overlooked for countless years. Keep this in mind.

I’ve been reading some older cookbooks, I mean turn of the last century cookbooks. A Chef from the Original Fish Market loaned me such a book. “Encyclopedia of Practical Gastronomy” by Ali-Bab, copyright 1906.

In the beginning of the book there is a forward titled “Gastronomy Through the Ages”. Ali-Bab takes the reader on a journey of culinary history from humans eating charred animal flesh cooked by forest fires to modern day gourmet. Part way through the expose, ancient Greece, around 246B.C. is the time frame at hand. Ali-Bab writes of great decadence and gluttony. The story goes…

Symptoms of decadence had also been evident for some time. The Greeks had learned from the Lybians the deplorable habit of eating lying down, a prime gastronomic error. They subsequently fell into an even more grievous, that of living only to eat. In vain Hippocrates, in the name of health, and Socrates, in the name of morals, battled against encroaching national gluttony. Greece was declining, and one century after Pericles, in 146B.C., she was subjugated by Rome.

Does this sound like me or what? Greece managed to fall without the help of HFCS or hydrogenated oils or preservatives. Imagine how much worse we could fare considering our diets along with our bad 2010A.D habits.

Guess who will still be around? A recent jaunt to the Pittsburgh Zoo gives some examples…

These guys may be OK, and not just because they could eat us.

He too, should be fine.

When my family went to the Zoo when I was a child, you could pretty much heave any sort of food into the animal enclosures. This was a common threat to misbehaved children at the time.  That changed over the years as zoologists began to take great care in the habitat and eating habits of the animals. Signs are posted all over the place these days to not feed the animals, although they make no mention of tossing in aforementioned misbehaved children, huh.

Time to bring it home. With all the great strides in the care of the animals, the Pittsburgh Zoo and PPG Aquarium has become a model for humane zoo-keeping, conservationism and a great family destination.

Yet, here is what they feed the humans…

and this…

OK, first of all, get over it, FV fed his kids this crap, yes. Desperate times, you know the rest. Point is that the animals eat better than the humans. After our lunch at the Safari Grill, we headed for the PPG Aquarium. I had plan. We entered the Aquarium and I posed a challenge to my oldest son. I told him to ask a zoo employee what would happen if he tossed a cheeseburger, chicken fingers, fries and a couple sodas in to the tank. The zoo dude replied very simply, “Well, all the fish would die”. Mission accomplished.

The fish tank would be Greece. The food would be the food. I would be Socrates or Hippocrates. If we don’t change our ways, we will be subjugated. At least the well fed animals will thrive.

sigh,

FV