Before I get down to serious business let me tell you about another very successful at-home birthday party. My middle child is turning 9 on May 29th. He is the picky eater I have talked about. Picky doesn’t even begin to describe the eating challenges I have with this beautiful, amazingly creative child, but we’ll talk about that later, first the party.
The Duchess and I have been very hard at work reclaiming the yard from the explosion of spring and some neglect and transforming it into a productive piece of land. This was our first chance to show off our progress.
The yard is no longer a barren land!
Everyone was impressed with the garden and the changes taking place. The day met all of the criteria for what I have considered a perfect gathering. Everyone at a family home, wholesome homemade food, cake from scratch (thanks to the Duchess!) kids playing, dog barking and even badminton!
As you can see, the ol’ country home still needs a lot of work, but it’s coming along. The important thing is that we were all there, celebrating, relaxing, enjoying a beautiful day.
As the evening wound down all of the guests headed home and The Duchess and I sat by the garden to rehash the day’s events and plan out our week of projects. The whole yard seemed to sigh along with us in a show of tired satisfaction. The day had been stress free. Even at meal time there had been no fighting over food with my three boys. That’s not to say that they ate well, I just chose not to fight the battle this day. This also doesn’t mean that I was ignorant to what was eaten. Bird ate well, as usual, he’s starting to eat like a teenager. Choc and NB on the other hand barely touched their plates. They immediately turned their noses up to my Jambalaya and cornbread and NB even spit one of his only bites into the bushes.
The Duchess caught him doing this and he stared her down challengingly. On any other day, this would have set off a flurry of activitiy including my getting angry. But, as I said, I consciously made a choice to not fight this day. Was this a wrong decision? I dunno.
The day went on without much incident. Games were played, gifts were opened, birthday song was sung, cake was delicious.
Everyone had left and even with my choice to not fight any food battles, it was certainly in the back of my head that both Choc and NB had not eaten anything but cake and ice cream all day.
All from scratch, thanks Duchess!
Beyond being The Food Vigilante I am simply, or maybe most complicatedly, a parent. My gut had a slight uneasy feeling knowing that I had two hungry kids about to get ready for bed. I have wrestled with this before and even sent them to bed hungry rather than succumb to their whims for sugary food or non-nutritional belly fillers.
This particular evening I was floating on a cloud of party-planning-satisfaction. I was wrapped up in the days events; my dear Choc turning nine, our garden bearing it’s first fruits and family gathering meeting all of my wants and desires. My defenses were down, I was not ready, in any way, for a fight. Then NB approached me and said…
“Dad, I’m hungry, could I have a bowl of cereal?”
I can not explain away what happened next. I have been writing and philosiphizing for over a year now on this blog and for years before that as well. (Some of my Massage Therapy students may recall my boycott of bacon in years past!) But in this instance I failed. Feeding a hungry child is not failing. But… I sat him at the table poured a bowl of cheerios with some milk and then, like it was old hat, I sprinkled a teaspoon of sugar on his cereal.
Now the Duchess almost fell over. She was openly angry and dissapointed at my actions. My kids do eat cereal. I do buy cereals with sugar, but no HFCS or hydrogenated oils. I only buy whole grain cereals, no magic puffs or sugary fruity loops. I do allow the boys to drizzle some honey on their cereal, but shook the white, processed sugar habit a while ago. All this said, the Duchess was right, I was wrong. I guess I had slipped into old habit. In choosing not to battle any food fights this day, I had reverted to old ways…if I wanted to ensure that the kids eat, sweeten it, fry it or douse it with ketchup. I fell prey to the mindset that is ruining the world. The Duchess questioned all the talks we have had about food, even asked me if I was a farce! I am not. Behind this food super-hero outfit, I am human and I fall down sometimes. I have no excuse and need to move on and rise above, just as I ask all of you to do. Even you Duchess.
Happy Birthday my dear NB, I will try not to fail you again.
If you fall down, let me know, get up and eat better,
FV
Eat This NY
The Duchess of Amboy
As in many things in life one takes two steps forward and one back.In your son’s case with his eating,giving in to a bowl of cereal was not the worse move you could have made.A piece of cake or more icecream would have been worse.And yelling at the child certainly acomplishes nothing.
I’m certainly no expert on child raising,but if you want my two cents about the problem try to see what foods he actually likes and incorporate them into meal preparation.Also try to convince his mother to be more conscience on what he eats while in her presence.
I know it is a difficult issue but you’ll figure it out and he may surprise you one day.
For you “organic foodies” on Wednesday July 7th at 5pm on KDKA-TV news there will be a special segmant on when paying more for organics may not be worth it.Might be worth watching! Hear that FV?